F-U

My son continues to hurt.

His girlfriend of 4.5 years broke up with him because she needed "time alone to find herself."

He recently saw her making out with her new boyfriend and was informed they had been dating for over a month-starting just about two weeks after she broke up with him.

His confidence and self esteem have taken a huge hit but right now he's just really angry, in the F-U phase, and I'm fine with that.

I prefer that to him feeling sorry for himself and as if his life is over at age 21.

I hope T would agree.

I'm pretty sure she would.

Every new morning

"You are stunned at the normalcy of life around you as people go about their business, totally unaware that your world has stopped and your entire life has been turned upside down."

Over a year has past since T died.

I can honestly say, that for the most part, I am so much less stunned.

"Most everyone you meet is going through a battle you nothing about."

Until, that is, you get to know them better.

"Our experience of loss teaches us much. What comes, if we are fortunate, is a kind of empathy with all of creation-a sense of wonder at the suffering and the beauty, of the world."

I loved T with all my heart.

"The best memorial to your loved one is to live life fully, one day at a time."

"Every new morning starts a new page in your story. Try to make it a great one today."

I'll read this post again in the morning as a gentle reminder.

Drier

I helped my son move into his apartment today for his senior year of college.

I helped him move last year, around this same time, for his junior year. It was less than 2 months after T had died.

However, I wasn't fighting back tears and I wasn't a basket case, literally, on returning home alone this year.

I think about Tori every day.

I'm still sad that she can't experience these wonderful life events with our children and see what awesome young adults they continue to be, in largest part due to her.

I'm just not crying all the time and that's been good.