According to many, when your wife dies, you should refer to her as your "late wife" when talking to others.
Some suggest your "ex-wife" but that seems to be so much more common in those who are divorced.
Our marriage vows included "till death do us part."
After 8 months, however, I've only referred to Tori as "my late wife" in conversation one time.
I almost had to force myself to say it.
Over time I suspect I'll get used to it.
There aren't a lot of other options.
Sunday, February 28, 2016
Tuesday, February 23, 2016
Side by side
Yesterday marked 8 months of going to sleep and waking up alone.
I was never, as T would say, much of a "cuddeler" in bed.
I just have never been able to sleep on my side.
She knew it and she always said she was fine with it.
For the most part, neither of us ever had trouble going to sleep for the night.
Comfort and confidence in what we had most always just enabled us to drift off to sleep easily.
It was pretty darn awesome.
I think about it a lot while tossing and turning.
I was never, as T would say, much of a "cuddeler" in bed.
I just have never been able to sleep on my side.
She knew it and she always said she was fine with it.
For the most part, neither of us ever had trouble going to sleep for the night.
Comfort and confidence in what we had most always just enabled us to drift off to sleep easily.
It was pretty darn awesome.
I think about it a lot while tossing and turning.
Thursday, February 18, 2016
Another anniversary date
Exactly a year ago Ellie and Tori shared a wonderful snow filled mother-daughter weekend in Charlottesville while Ellie was also showing in a horseshow.
I still love to look at the pictures and videos they forwarded that were a result of their time together.
I didn't want to remind Ellie because I thought it might make her sad.
During our phone conversation today she acknowledged being down, sad.
She didn't need for me to remind her.
She knew.
Of course she did.
I still love to look at the pictures and videos they forwarded that were a result of their time together.
I didn't want to remind Ellie because I thought it might make her sad.
During our phone conversation today she acknowledged being down, sad.
She didn't need for me to remind her.
She knew.
Of course she did.
Monday, February 15, 2016
Words were always greater than things
Got through Valentines Day yesterday.
I did fine for the most part but had a recurring thought.
V-day was never about flowers or jewelry for us.
It was knowing we were confident in our relationship with each other and usually expressing it best in the form of a card with a message.
I've saved every card I received from her over the years.
Even though I know multitudes of the same store bought cards are produced it always seemed like she picked the perfect one, usually with a bit of humor, that mirrored our relationship. It was as if the card had been made just for us.
The added message was usually simple-thanking me for sharing life together.
Many are not so fortunate.
We never took it for granted.
I did fine for the most part but had a recurring thought.
V-day was never about flowers or jewelry for us.
It was knowing we were confident in our relationship with each other and usually expressing it best in the form of a card with a message.
I've saved every card I received from her over the years.
Even though I know multitudes of the same store bought cards are produced it always seemed like she picked the perfect one, usually with a bit of humor, that mirrored our relationship. It was as if the card had been made just for us.
The added message was usually simple-thanking me for sharing life together.
Many are not so fortunate.
We never took it for granted.
Monday, February 1, 2016
Worth every second
I recently read a story about a dog owner who had to put his dog down due to cancer.
He wasn't sure if he would ever want to have another dog in the future because it just seems to represent a "countdown to sorrow."
That's such a depressing way to look at things.
Our dog was on clearance at the puppy store last November.
To be honest I liked the sound of that-the clearance part-when Tori told me we were going to look at a puppy.
No one had claimed him and he was already three months old.
I suspect he would have been put down if he went unclaimed.
Tori held him for about 5 minutes before he climbed up her chest and started to lick her.
She knew he was the one. We didn't look at any other puppies.
Dwight's been fun, gets me up in the mornings and just loves to hang out.
He's become sort of famous in our neighborhood. Everyone loves him. He's a buddy.
He wasn't sure if he would ever want to have another dog in the future because it just seems to represent a "countdown to sorrow."
That's such a depressing way to look at things.
Our dog was on clearance at the puppy store last November.
To be honest I liked the sound of that-the clearance part-when Tori told me we were going to look at a puppy.
No one had claimed him and he was already three months old.
I suspect he would have been put down if he went unclaimed.
Tori held him for about 5 minutes before he climbed up her chest and started to lick her.
She knew he was the one. We didn't look at any other puppies.
Dwight's been fun, gets me up in the mornings and just loves to hang out.
He's become sort of famous in our neighborhood. Everyone loves him. He's a buddy.
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