According to many, when your wife dies, you should refer to her as your "late wife" when talking to others.
Some suggest your "ex-wife" but that seems to be so much more common in those who are divorced.
Our marriage vows included "till death do us part."
After 8 months, however, I've only referred to Tori as "my late wife" in conversation one time.
I almost had to force myself to say it.
Over time I suspect I'll get used to it.
There aren't a lot of other options.