Church try #1 many months ago: decided to try going back to my Catholic roots so went to an early mass. Got sad looking around at all the happy families and left early.
Church try #2 a few months ago: decided to try a Methodist church because I knew some friends who attended there. While looking for a parking space I saw a friend and his wife walking into church holding hands. I started to tear-up and drove home.
Church try #3 today: decided to go back to the Christian non-denominational church we attended for almost the ten years before T's death. I cried while the lights were dim and songs were being sung because I had flashbacks of being there with T...but stuck it out. What followed was an excellent sermon on faith, on not being afraid and the importance of being out of your comfort zone at times to encounter things and people you would have otherwise not encountered.
It was as if Pastor Joel was talking to me...just as it had always seemed like he was talking to T and me.