A number of friends have reached out to me recently to let me know they are thinking about us because they know Christmas will be tough this year without Tori.
I truly appreciate them.
Obviously I don't know exactly how I will feel on the day but I'm hoping it will go as smoothly as possible.
The last number of months have been tough.
I don't know if things can get tougher emotionally than they have already been.
Tori had her cardiac arrest on post-op day #9 of my left hip replacement in June.
I helped both children move back to their respective colleges in August and returned home alone.
September sucked-birthdays for my son and Tori and our wedding anniversary.
My first birthday, in 28 years, without Tori in November.
Thanksgiving.
TNTC mini-urgencies-appliances breaking, windows leaking, cars breaking down, etc.
Adding multiple new duties to make up for things that Tori always took care of-all dog related issues, monthly bill paying and balancing of checkbook/finances, cleaning bathrooms, shopping for home supplies, etc.
Along the way I've realized the following:
I will wake up in the morning-I'm not going to die anytime soon of a broken heart
I can cook so I won't starve to death
I can take care of a home and most everything that goes along with it
I'm no longer intimidated by a grocery store
I can truly multi-task
I can be completely in touch with my children
I do want to try and enjoy the rest of my life on earth and continue to hopefully make a difference in people's lives
Christmas will be a tough day.
Tori always made everything related to Christmas Day so special but I will get through it-I know I will.
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