Thursday, December 17, 2015

Christmas blues?

A number of friends have reached out to me recently to let me know they are thinking about us because they know Christmas will be tough this year without Tori.

I truly appreciate them.

Obviously I don't know exactly how I will feel on the day but I'm hoping it will go as smoothly as possible.

The last number of months have been tough.

I don't know if things can get tougher emotionally than they have already been.

Tori had her cardiac arrest on post-op day #9 of my left hip replacement in June.

I helped both children move back to their respective colleges in August and returned home alone.

September sucked-birthdays for my son and Tori and our wedding anniversary.

My first birthday, in 28 years, without Tori in November.


TNTC mini-urgencies-appliances breaking, windows leaking, cars breaking down, etc.

Adding multiple new duties to make up for things that Tori always took care of-all dog related issues, monthly bill paying and balancing of checkbook/finances, cleaning bathrooms, shopping for home supplies, etc.

Along the way I've realized the following:

I will wake up in the morning-I'm not going to die anytime soon of a broken heart

I can cook so I won't starve to death

I can take care of a home and most everything that goes along with it

I'm no longer intimidated by a grocery store

I can truly multi-task

I can be completely in touch with my children

I do want to try and enjoy the rest of my life on earth and continue to hopefully make a difference in people's lives

Christmas will be a tough day.

Tori always made everything related to Christmas Day so special but I will get through it-I know I will.

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