American Heart Assosciation statistics for out of hospital cardiac arrest (OHCA) victims include the following:
* 25% of OHCA victims have no symptoms before an arrest.
*Survival to hospital discharge for OHCA victims is 10.4 percent. Only one of ten OHCA victims who make it to the hospital after advanced cardiac life support survive to be discharged.
T had an OHCA.
I think she was in the 25% who had no symptoms before her cardiac arrest-at least she didn't voice any symptoms and I've convinced myself that I didn't notice any-on most days (other days I question if I missed subtle signs).
She was one of the 9/10 who did not survive to hospital discharge.
I still have thoughts that she still might be here if I had done CPR more effectively at home before the rescue squad arrived.
These thoughts are always accompanied by guilt.
I suspect I've been reviewing these statistics to in a way encourage me to accept that the odds for her recovery were not significantly worsened by my inability to adequately resuscitate her after she collapsed in our home.
I haven't been able to accept it yet.