I had a wonderful person to grow old(er) with.
We also joked a lot about our future.
Especially the part about when I got demented...not if I got demented.
We had a plan that we agreed upon:
If I was mean-swearing, acting out, biting, etc., she had my full blessing to put me in a nursing home-also known as a warehouse where we send our old folks.
But, if I was kind and gentle, I would stay at home with her wearing my Depends.
My future now sort of scares me.
I don't want to be a burden to my children or to their future families.
I've appreciated reading another blog entitled "Lost without her."
The author notes that when we worry about our future it's because "our expectations of the future are flawed. They were created in our own heads. They are illusions of the way we think our life should be."
T's death is a daily reminder of how suddenly our time on earth can end.
I'm still scared about my future but I'm really trying to suppress these thoughts.
NONE of us know what tomorrow will bring.